Problems leading to stress: incidental and unrelated problems


        PROBLEMS LEADING TO STRESS: INCIDENTAL AND UNRELATED PROBLEMS

Incidental problems
We have seen how the major problem operates on a background of continuing minor problems, and how the major problem produces associated problems, all of which combine to produce stress. However, the matter is often complicated by the advent of an incidental problem. This is something not associated with our general background, nor is it the result of the major problem. It is really a matter of two unrelated problems coming upon an individual at the same time.
A woman may have just learned of her husband's unfaithfulness. She is shocked, but just manages to cope. Then two days later her son is knocked off his bicycle and seriously injured. She breaks down with severe symptoms of stress.
In clinical psychiatry this type of story is common. It goes to show that our brain can often integrate the impulses from a major problem, but some other incidental problem will prove the last straw that breaks the camel's back.
There is a serious financial problem at work. He is just coping. A few days later his trusted assistant, on whom he relies, is suddenly struck with some illness that will keep him away for several weeks.
These are incidental problems, and in their pure form are quite unrelated to the major problem. But there is often a grey area in which it is hard to see whether they are related or not. There is a major financial problem, and the trusted assistant gives notice of going to a better job. Had he been thinking of this for some time, or did the sudden problem at work prompt him to make a move?
This same principle applies to many matters in ordinary life, when it is hard to be sure of the relationship of one event to another. A woman has decided to leave her husband who is a very dependent man. He does not feel well. A blood test shows a slight abnormality. It just could be suggestive of leukemia, and her decision to leave is thwarted.

Unrelated problems
«Just not coping. Feel it is the end. Mother died a month ago. Should be getting right again by now, but I'm not. Widowed six or seven years. Mother again seemed to fill the gap in my life. Of course she depended on me. But I did not realize that I still depended on her. Now she's gone.
The children, both of them, have just left home. One married, the other just living with her boyfriend. That's life. They have their lives to lead. But me? It's just a question mark. »
We can see how the major problem, the loss of the emotional relationship with her mother, is significant in producing stress only through augmentation by the incidental problem of the emptiness of her life resulting from the children leaving home.

*35/98/5*
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